Angels on the Moon
by sliceofperfection
Summary: What if Sybil wasn't the first child they lost? Robert finds Cora in the cemetery reflecting on another tremendous loss that's always lingered throughout the years. An AU Corbert one-shot.


**A/N:** Hi there! I'm Lynn and relatively new to the Downton fic community. I am more of a reader than writer, but occasionally an idea hits me (obviously, hence this one-shot). Anyway, this is an AU story dealing with the possibility of Cora & Robert losing another child way before Sybil. There are flashbacks scattered throughout, hopefully that's not terribly confusing. I would like to say that given Mary's birthdate and the nature of things in the flashbacks, they were set around 1891. And the present day portions are set in 1922. Also, this fic was largely inspired by the song "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory, so take a listen if you already don't know the song.

Please let me know what you think of this story, if you think anything, haha. Because I love to hear ways I can improve my writing, especially if this is complete rubbish. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **And as always, I claim no rights to any of these characters (except Lizzie) or anything they might be associated with. I am just a poor college student, looking for an escape from schoolwork.

* * *

_"Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming_

_Of angels on the moon_

_Where everyone you love_

_Never leaves too soon…"_

* * *

She walks along the uneven ground sequestered from the rest of the land by a rusting iron fence. Keeping her head down so the wide brim of her black hat might catch the rays of sunlight that insist on shining despite the darkness that surrounds her. Even with the warmth of early autumn beaming down upon her, she suddenly feels cold walking through the front gates alone. Willing herself not to focus on the shiver so intent on running down her spine, she folds her forearms together. She holds her head high, and continues on with a purpose through the varying rows interrupted by granite stone engravings. They bear the kindest words to ever be linked to each person buried here. Cora knows too many of them by heart now.

The intricate pathway that only a true Downton resident might now unfolds in front of her. Pass the first row and make a right, stroll by three grave markers, then cross at a diagonal towards a miniature stone that doesn't even stand above the ground. It's almost completely hidden from sight. Brown and yellow leaves decaying overtop it. Footprints cement the foliage to the stone further, so much so that she swears she can vaguely make out the name underneath it all. She bends forward to brush aside the ugly growths that threaten to conceal the marker's existence. Cora fingers tremble every so slightly when they graze over the namesake, her heart heavy with feelings that often lay dormant.

"I thought I might find you here."

Cora's shoulders jump at the suddenness of Robert's voice.

"Oh my dear, I hope I didn't startle you," He continues in his soothing baritone voice.

She twists her neck around and smiles up at him sheepishly from her immodest position. Cora rises as gracefully as possible, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks. Even after nearly four decades of marriage, being caught in such a position still caused her a twinge of embarrassment. "I'm afraid my thoughts were quite far away for anything not to," She replies softly before readjusting her downcast expression to its former position.

Robert's gaze follows to where hers land before returning back to see the pain etching its way across his wife's face. Chewing on his lower lip he contemplates the correct way to broach the sensitive subject, especially with more recent events weighing heavily on their marriage. Most memories revolving around the first Crawley child were too utterly painful to even consider. A young life stripped away without warning, like an old bandage on a wound. To say he misses her just as much, that she was his child as well, wouldn't feel right. The language is too familiar despite having put almost twelve months in between them and Sybil's tragic death. They both know it never gets easier. The pain of burying a child much too soon never goes away.

Still Robert tries to conjure up something pleasant for Cora's sake. "Do you remember…" He hesitates for a moment when she catches his eye, "…when we found out about Mary?"

Her mouth twitches into a melancholy smile, her icy blue eyes filling with a current of nostalgia while the memory rushes to her present.

_A fluttering of tiny footsteps followed by the childish cries of, "Ma-ma! Ma-ma!" burst through Cora's dressing room. A girl a few months shy of three flings her body to her mother's bedside._

_"Oh my goodness, Lizzie." Cora exclaimed breathlessly out of surprise. She instinctively held onto her daughter's outstretched arms to avoid sending the breakfast tray onto the sheets. "You must be careful, child. You could really hurt someone, rushing into a room like that." She scolded mildly. "Now where have you left poor Nanna?"_

_Elizabeth Crawley could sense her mother's disapproving tone. She retracted her arms and took a slight step back, folding her hands behind her and staring down at her shoes. Her shoulders shrugged, but even with the uncertain action, Cora could tell the mischievous little girl knew more than she was letting on. _

_Just when she was about to ask again, Nanna, Lizzie's maid arrived, looking quite out of breath. "Oh I'm terribly sorry, Milady," She began with a slight look of horror on her face, "it's just…Lord Grantham had mentioned you feeling ill this morning and she grew quite worried. Said there was something she must give you straight away. I tried to stop her but-"_

_Cora lifted a hand to signal her explanation was quite satisfactory. "Thank you, Nanna." She smiled before turning her attention onto her fidgety daughter._

_"Lizzie, is there something you wanted to bring me?" She questioned in warmer tones, causing her daughter's head of budding blonde ringlets to bounce eagerly. "Well let's see it then, my child." Cora beckoned her closer._

_Elizabeth revealed a sewn baby doll with a smiling painted face in her outstretched palm. The fabric that was once a pristine white had faded to a dingy brown. Cora gasped slightly to show her surprise, "Ruth?"_

_"For my Sissy, Ma-Ma," The young girl nodded proudly, gesturing to her mother's round belly._

_"Oh, what a thoughtful gift." She stroked Lizzie's velvety cheek with the brim of her knuckles. "But what will we do if you should have a brother?" She questioned sincerely before teasingly tapping her nose, "Surely you don't want to give _him, _your dolly."_

_"No," Lizzie giggled with a bright smile, "but just in case I have a Sissy. She'll need a dolly and I have plenty."_

_Cora's heart soared at the sentiment. She felt a surge of love that overtook any control of her emotions, and could feel tears beginning to line the edges of her eyes. Kissing two fingertips and placing them against her daughter's forehead she quietly thanked Lizzie Crawley for being the light of her life._

She dabs at the corners of her eyes where silent tears begin to formulate against her will. Cora swallows back the sharp lump in her throat and nods slowly. "Yes," She lets out a heavy sigh. "She was so eager to be a big sister. So full of love for someone she never met." Her voice quivers slightly, "I don't think I'll ever forget that about her."

"Nor will I," He solemnly agrees before his index finger reaches for the outside of her hand, slowly stroking the back of it in circular patterns. The tips of her fingers flicker towards his palm in response until she finally slips her hand into his. His fingers interlace with hers instantaneously, and they both give the other an encouraging squeeze.

_He received instructions to meet them for tea on the terrace overlooking the back gardens. He hovered for a moment on the other side of the doors, watching Mamma express her concern for Cora being out of bed given her condition. He was about to intervene when he could hear his wife reply in the most diplomatic yet assertive manner possible._

_"I sincerely appreciate your concern, Mamma. But my strength hasn't quite left me just yet." She peers down at her growing belly, which seemed to set her around five months or so according to the young Dr. Clarkson. "Besides, I _am _keeping my feet up as you insisted. I think that is satisfactory enough."_

_Sensing the brink of another squabble between the two opinionated women in his life, Robert stepped out of the house. Both her Ladyship and his Lady turned their heads in his direction, greeting him with a sort of relief._

_"Good morning Mamma," He nodded at his mother before turning his attention to Cora, "darling." Robert placed a hand at her shoulder and leaned forward to leave a soft kiss against her cheek._

_Lady Grantham was quick to inform him, "Robert you must tell Cora to rest. She'll simply wear herself out not to mention…"_

_Suddenly a rush of excitement came from his right, "Papa!" The little girl hurried to greet him, nearly leaping into his outstretched arms._

_"Oh my little one!" Robert exclaimed in reply, picking her up and spinning her about before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Have you got one for me?" He angled the side of his face for her to return the gesture, causing her to cover her mouth and giggle at him. Finally she relented, contently draping her arms around his neck. "Why thank you," He smiled at his daughter, before noticing the foreign object in her left hand. As Robert set her back down on the ground he asked her curiously, "And what is that you got there?" _

_Lizzie held it up in front of their faces and stated very simply, "A train!"_

_"Have you grown sick of your dollies, my dear?" He teased with a wry half smile._

_"No Papa!" She gushed with exasperation. _

_"Oh?" He gave her a puzzled look, "Then why aren't you playing with them?"_

_"Mama said…she said…she said…" Lizzie stammered uncertainly, trying to recall the reason for playing with a train._

_Robert then turned from his knelt down position to shoot a curious glance at his wife as he wondered, "What did Mama say?"_

_Cora's smile broadened at his use of such an affectionate term. He could see the admiration through her bright blue eyes, as he was sure his were filled with similar affections. She explained to him, "I thought it unfair for her to only think of ways to entertain a little sister." She brought a hand to rest on top of her growing belly, the other sliding underneath for support. "So I suggested she think of ways to play with a little brother," Her shoulders shrugged, but the idea seemed like a fine one._

_Robert shook his head slowly at her. He was amazed at how lucky he was for him to have her, and her bear their child. He was just about to say something to finish Mamma's thought whenever a slight tugging on his coat sleeve demanded his attention._

_Lizzie looked up at him through her bashful blue eyes, hands crossed behind her back. She muttered softly, "Papa, when you finish tea, will you play trains with me?"_

_He patted her on the head and nodded, "Of course, little one."_

_She ran off to rejoin the Nanny who had set up a track for her wooden cars to ride on._

_Robert stood and walked back to the table for tea with Cora and Mamma. Lady Grantham found it fitting to reiterate her earlier point about his wife taking rest. "Mamma we both know you mean well, but until Dr. Clarkson sees it unsafe, I think Cora can enjoy a few moments of fresh air." He took a sip of his tea and then continued, "After all she has done this once before, and you can see how well it all turned out."_

_His eyes flickered over to Lizzie, clearly enthralled by the train running along the track with her guidance. He could hear, her imagination already going to work. As he brought his gaze back to the table, he felt her eyes on him, grateful for his words of support. Her pinkie discretely brushed up against his. And he linked his finger around hers to wordlessly express his feelings once more._

After a few moments of just standing side by side and thinking of Elizabeth in their own special ways, Robert finally finds his voice again. "You know my darling, after these many, many years of wishing she were still with us, there is a bit of comfort we can take now."

Cora looks up at him a bit taken aback, her hand falling from his in the process. "And what is that?"

"She doesn't have to go it alone anymore," He remarks sadly, his face contorting with emotions he's only shown to her. With a downcast expression he turns away from her, a hand flying up to cover both of his eyes as he chokes back the sobs of a powerless father. She recognizes his anguish and snakes her right arm under his left, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. Trying to take on all the painful memories they've tried to erase.

_"Robert, you're back early." She observed from the settee in the drawing room, allowing her needlework to rest in her lap. But as she noticed his ghostly white expression, and trembling hands that took hers, she knew something terrible had occurred during the hunt. "Oh my darling," She stroked the side of his face with her fingertips, "what is it?"_

_His eyes struggled to meet hers. She could sense the distance was put in place for some unknown reason. He looked down in between them, "I'm afraid…there's been an accident."_

_Cora retracted the hand from his face, moving it to cover her heart. "Oh my dear, has someone been injured badly?"_

_"Worse," He swallowed heavily, "much worse."_

_"Robert, you must tell me." She insisted, squeezing his hand firmly. "Please, tell me what's happened?"_

_His glassy eyes lifted to meet hers, his hand cupping the curve of her neck and shoulder. "My dearest Cora," He sniffed, "it's our girl."_

_Not fully understanding his words, she merely blinked back at him. "What?" She frowned at her husband. "Robert, what on earth do you mean?"_

_"Lizzie," His face slowly crumpled with heartache. "Something tragic has happened to our girl."_

_"You don't mean?" The news slowly began to sink in for Cora. Her head shook slightly out of disbelief at first, a series of 'no's' spilling out of her mouth like some sort of religious mantra one clings to. But when Robert didn't offer any objectives to them, her cries gained more ferocity. "No! No! No! She can't be! She can't! No, Robert, no!" _

_Her entire body rattled against the overwhelming sobs of despair that crashed over her in violent waves. He tried to steady her, his strong arms drawing her body closer to his on the settee. Her arms wildly smacked at his chest, trying to fight his insistence that they hang onto one another, and accept the fact that Lizzie is dead. She screamed out that there is no God, because he would never let such an innocent child die. She cried out in agonizing tones that caused Robert's tears to magnify alongside her grief. It wasn't until her voice cracked and the sharp pain in her chest shot down her middle, that Cora's fell forward onto Robert's shoulder. His jacket muffled her weakened sobs, but he could still feel the moisture collecting there. His face pressed against the crown of her head, her dark curls catching each tear that fell. They sit there for several moments mourning the loss of a girl who had everything to live for, except the chance to grow up. After several moments, they are exhausted with grief and pull away only to wipe away the lingering salty stains from their cheeks._

_Sniffling back her emotions, Cora wondered sadly. "How could this be, Robert? She was indoors all day."_

_He grabbed her hand again, looking down at the same spot on the floor as his wife. "Nanny took her to garden. It was such a beautiful day…" He found his voice catching again in an attempt to hold back more sobs, "…she thought it a sin for Lizzie to stay indoors."_

_Cora choked while her eyes burned with more tears. She covered her mouth with a hand, waiting to hear what else he had to say._

_"So they went to the gardens and I guess…Nanny lost sight of her." His grip tightened against hers, "They searched for nearly an hour before finding her…" His head fell forward again, and he struggled to finish the thought._

_His wife had enough mind to draw him near again. Robert's chin rested a top her shoulder, his face pressed into the side of her face. Voice shaking he finally informed her, "They found her in the river."_

_"Oh my baby girl," Cora whined. Trying to catch her breath, the words quivered as she whispered them through her sorrow. "She was all alone. She died…alone, and absolutely terrified. How could this be? How could she leave this world thinking her mother, failed her in such a way."_

_Robert sat up straighter, taking Cora's face in both hands. Tears streaming down his cheeks he protested firmly, "You…never…failed her. And she knew that much. She knew how much you loved her."_

_Cora nodded, her gaze accidently flitting down to her pregnant belly. "How are we ever going to carry on, Robert? Bury one child, and suddenly love another?"_

_He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to even fathom how to cope with these pitiless circumstances fate handed them. Finally, he found the answer in a place they might not readily accept, but it could help to ease the suffering. "We learn from what our daughter taught us. How she taught us to love one another without a second thought. That's how we carry on." _

"No, neither one of them has to go it alone." Her vision clouds by the finality of it all. It never seemed to end, especially at this time of year. And she doesn't expect it ever will. But with the reassuring notion that a pair of sisters are reunited somewhere, makes her realize she doesn't have to worry anymore.

Robert is quick to cough a few times and clear his throat to mask the discomfort of crying in such a public arena. But she's certain if anyone were to walk by they wouldn't think any less of him. Anyone who wanders into this place is certainly haunted by a ghost or two from long ago; or in their case, a pair of angels.


End file.
